How to Grill a Teacher
- First sweeten the subject with a few perfunctory words.
Make sure to mention that you're conducting scientific research.
- Lightly glaze the surface with a few harmless jokes & cursory smiles.
- Preheat the oven to 450o and prepare a suitably-sized steel pan.
- Immobilize the subject with a few thought-provoking questions, then
at an appropriate pause, obtain a six-inch slice with no bones about it.
- Perform a series of complex analyses to assess the weight of
the remaining parts, reflecting on which can safely be removed from the sample.
- Daftly remove any excess fat and replace it with rhetorical stuffing.
- Cook the subject for one 90 minute period until light brown.
- Finally, precisely calculate the total weight.
- Discuss your research results at a suitable venue, and make
it clear you are always looking for more research subjects.
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