Confessions during a Quaker Meeting

Confessions during a Quaker Meeting: artwork by T Newfields
God – I have groped to grasp Your Greatness in silence,
& contemplate Thy Wonders with this little brain
but often all I'm left with, hunched in this hushed room,
the paltry pettiness of my thoughts & a sense of disdain.

Sometimes however the striving self dissolves –
and on hard oak benches, hallowed by a thousand quiet backs,
& the shuffling murmurs all moments resolve,
then and then only does silence make sense
And Your Blessed Spirit seems near.

Then there's no self to shield itself, or struggle or to "own",
The Burning Bush of Thy Glory, blazing, unconsumed,
outshines the blustering blather of my busy, borrowed days –
and only then is there true worship: reverence unplumed,
a wordless "yes" that asks for nothing, nor has no more to say.

Alas, dross that I am, this vision fades,
the fire dims, and the felt truth drains and pales,
ground down again between restless millstone-selves,
& the gristmill of the mind that mills existence into microscopic meal.

And yet. And yet. Some kernels keep. Some grains escape the blade –
a scattering of golden dust no milling cannot claim.
I gather what I can of it, this little that remains sacrosanct,
and carry it back out into the noise, and call it grace.

Then someone clears their throat,
comments about the Dark Sith Lords sitting in imperial capitals
and God, politely, remains silent.