WHAT IFS? An exploration of alternative realities If Ronald McDonald were gay would he say, “Hey folks, open up yer buns! Put sum cream in my coffee! Make my day!” If Col. Sanders were tranny in winsome ways would (s)he stop yapping 'bout Kentucky, then seductively proclaim, “Boxed in by life? Feeling a bit blue? Hey, discover yer inner chicken - get deep fried & stewed! Soon enough all hardship will be through.” If Betty Crocker became a spirited rocker would she boldly state, “Face it - men are blasé. However, a warm clitoris is better than any angel food cake. In fact, it's az close ta heaven most moist people attain.” And so, glory to every "what if" stretching our conceptions that forces us to consider in alternative ways. Hey, isn't the universe much weirder, queerer, & infinitely muur amazin' thun we enter- tain? Wan-Sze: Let's face it - the sexual orientation of most people is a big part of their identities. Tim: That may be true, but I think we need to transcend all duality and root our identities in something deeper than our hormones. Nadia: (chuckling cynically) Haven't you been reading too much ancient philosophy? Our bodies are a statement of who we are. We should honor them as superbly designed instruments. ===================================================================================== from How Weird: Out of the Box of Expectations by T Newfields Summary: Using several American cultural icons, this work challenges mainstream cultural norms. Keywords: American cultural icons, deconstructing social norms, alternative sexuality, icon bashing Author: T Newfields [Nitta Hirou / Huáng Yuèwǔ] (b. 1955 - ?) Begun: 2018 in Yokohama, Japan ☆ Finished: 2021 in Yokohama, Japan Creative Commons License: Attribution. {{CC-BY-4.0}} Granted < LAST http://www.tnewfields.info/HowWeird/fan-real.htm TOC http://www.tnewfields.info/HowWeird/index.html NEXT > http://www.tnewfields.info/HowWeird/fuel.htm