ABC University
Welcome to ABC University –
a great place to get a manufactured degree
with little effort but lots of money.

After receiving your bank deposit
and conducting a few perfunctory tests
you'll receive a student number
and nominal syllabus.

Lessons are in sterile, stuffy rooms
by undistinguished staff unclear what to do.

Semester finals consist of hazy, multiple-choice mazes
full of ambiguity 'n error –
but hey, we churn out grades!

We're proud of our university's rich heritage –
and especially our wealthy alumni
who protect the status quo
insuring that
a fixed quota of bodies pass through our doors
'n commercialism thrives.