 Welcome to ABC University - a place to get a manufactured degree with little effort but lots of money. After receiving your bank deposit and conducting a few perfunctory tests you'll receive a student number and nominal syllabus. Lessons are in sterile, stuffy rooms by undistinguished staff unclear what to do. Semester finals consist of hazy, multiple-choice mazes full of ambiguity 'n error – but hey, we churn out grades! We're proud of our university's rich heritage – and especially our wealthy alumni who protect the status quo insuring that a fixed quota of bodies pass through our doors 'n commericalism thrives.
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Hear the author read this poem.
Melissa: Is this satire or fact? Liao: I duuno, but aren't many schools partly this way? Satoru: That's unfortunate, cause it taints the whole notion of education. Liao: There's a bit of "ABC University" in every university – the whole issue is a matter of degree.