Grandma Barton Gets Excited About Armageddon

Whun I wus groovin up money yuurs ago
thu warld seemd eazier ta undurstand --
Scriptures told us whut ta do
n whure sinners would go.

Indeed, it's all in the Book ah Revolution!
Judgment Day iz ad hand!
Get yer potato chips, humbuggers, 'n charcools
ready ya hear
'cus I feel it in me bones -

The Barbecue Ahead 's Gonna B Magnificent!
The Lord is a-cummin und is He's In Full Command!
Yep, godless folks are gonna kno
Jehovah's Wrath 'n Infinite Ire!

I jus can't wait for Armageddon -
it'll be soo excitin ta behooold!
Bombs will be flyin everywhure
as duh Heavens turn ta Gold!

Git ready, Christian Brethren!
A beautiful war is at hand!
We're gonna meet Our Maker!
The Rapture is So Excitin!
as we poison the sea 'n air 'n land!

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Copyright (c) 1996, 2006 by T Newfields. All rights reserved.
www.tnewfields.info/AmeriSong/gm.htm
Ted: This ain't notin' da laugh 'bout – lots ah folks think this way.
Sam: Where's your sense ah humor? All ideology is ultimately a joke.
Chris: We've gotta be careful with myths 'cause dey haf a way ah comin' true.
Kris: The Doomsday myths ah Christianity, Judiasm, and Islam all point towards a bifurcated future that's unhealthy. Whatever our fate is, I'm sure we will share it together. Like it or not, we are connected 'n share a common destiny.